Tea and School Bullies

Yo Mr. Tea,

I love tea, I drink like four cups a day. But the kids at school keep picking on me saying that it is for girls. One guy even poured pepper into my tea when I wasn't looking and I drank it. Yuck!

Your friend,
Jimmy
Age 9

Dear Dr. James,

This may sound weird, but even your hero (Mr. Tea) was once bullied due to his love of tea. Instead of letting it bother me, though, I became absorbed in learning as much as I could about tea, so that one day I would become famous and be able to really teach those bullies a lesson. During these intense studies, I discovered an ancient tea legend which has stayed with me throughout my tea journey and helped me rise against any adversity I've faced. It went something like this:

One day, while casually walking down an old Japanese road, the tea master Yu See accidentally bumped into a soldier. He quickly apologized, but the belligerent soldier demanded to face the tea master in a duel.

Yu, who was by no means a swordsman, asked the advice of a Samurai he'd met. As he listened to the tea master's troubles over a cup of tea, the Samurai could not help but notice how the tea master performed his art with perfect focus and serenity. "Tomorrow," instructed the Samurai, "when you duel, hold your weapon above your head ready to strike. Face him with the same concentration and tranquility with which you've performed this tea ceremony."

The next day, at the appointed time and place, Yu followed his advice. The soldier, preparing to strike, stared into the calm eyes of the tea master and was stunned by his clarity in such a dangerous situation. The soldier lowered his sword, apologized for his insolence and quickly retreated. The tea master had ended the battle without striking a single blow.

So Mr. Tea urges you to remember what tea master Yu did and follow this ancient wisdom. Earn the respect of everyone by perfecting the things that you love to do. Either that, or "accidentally" knock your teacup (not too hot, of course) onto your bully's lap. After all, no one likes to be known as Tea Pants.

Sempiternally,
Mr. Tea
Not a fan of pepper tea either